June 12, 2013

Hardest Moments from the 1st Year

In continuing with our One Year of Marriage series, I will be sharing some of the toughest marriage moments so far. It doesn't sound like a very fun blog topic but I really think some dating/engaged ladies could benefit from knowing these. After all, when you tell someone you are getting married, their reaction won't be "you are going to have to work at it" or "it's not always fun" And honestly in the newlywed year it is 99% fun. Last time I took my own spin on the topic, but today it's going to get real.

Be sure to link-up your toughest moments at the bottom!!

If you want to read the happier side of things, check out these posts:

Disclaimer **I am SUPER happy in my marriage and do not want this to come across as me complaining about life. I am just trying to constructively talk about some of the not so glamorous parts of marriage for the purpose of this blog series**

*Also, these are in no particular order*

1) One of the hardest parts of being married is having to put someone else before yourself. Now if you have been dating someone for a long time before getting married, then you may have already known this or been working on it. But, its human nature to deal with your own needs first. Yes, we do good deeds for others (family, friends, charities) but not on a consistent-as in 24/7- basis. Sometimes I just come home and want to rest and do my own thing but it's not too long until I am in the kitchen fixing dinner, preparing lunches for the next day or just tending to the hubby. Most of the time I don't mind because I would be doing these things if I were on my own but sometimes its hard putting his needs before mine. Overall, I think he does a better job of putting me first but I want to really focus on making sure he is the priority!!

2) Another tough aspect of marriage is making new "couple" friends. Other bloggers have addressed this issue and I think it is one of the most difficult things to do. Separately, its easy for me to find girl friends and Tim to find guy friends but to find couples that we both mesh well with is daunting. This past year, we have mostly done our own thing, but I would love to have a few couples to double date with or have over for dinner that we no one feels like a 3rd wheel, ya know? Why has this been so hard in the first year? Because last year I was surrounded by my friends and people my age at Virginia Tech and now we are in a new city and have to really look for other young married couples. This is definitely something I want to work on a lot more in this next year!

3) The last difficult aspect of marriage that I am going to share today is on making big decisions. I don't usually have a hard time making decisions. I am not one to ponder on the consequences. However, when you get married this changes-big time. NOW you are talking about decisions that will impact both of you. You have to listen to your spouses reasoning and come to the conclusion together. One major decision we had to make this year was whether to move or not. We moved into our current apartment last year right after we got married and our lease was going to be up this May. Tim really was pushing for us to find a new place. I wanted to be on board because I really wanted something with more space and a patio/backyard/deck. However, I did want to move again for a while and told him that we could look but it would take a lot to convince me. It took us almost 2 months of looking at townhomes and larger apartments before realizing what was best for us. Ultimately, we decided to stay put and save all of that money up. I think we are both really happy with the outcome of that decision. 

Here are some more words of wisdom that I found on Pinterest:

just look at it this way!

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  1. Yes! You bring up some really good points. I never even thought to write about "couple" friends. That has been so so hard for us. But, I do find that when we hang out with our "couple" friends... we have a lot more fun... which is surprising to me because, I thought we wouldn't for some reason. Right now, we are only friends with 2 couples. Which, isn't a lot. I wish we had more because sometimes, my friends don't want to hang out because they are all single and I'm not. I feel like I get left out a LOT! Same with my husbands friends. We were the first of all of our friends to get married. It's definitely tough!

  2. We can really relate to the couples friends. It is hard to find people you both mesh with, but necessary. Decision making - big deal. All the convincing in the world doesn't make someone see your point of view sometimes, ha. Kim

  3. ahhh yes number 2! How could I forget since we just talked about that! Great post my friend.

  4. Great post Samantha :) I have a feeling in a year's time, I will have a better understanding of this! I have no doubts that you are such a sweet/supportive wife!! Always love reading!!!

  5. Ahhh the meeting couple friends has been tough on us as well! Great post!


  6. It is definately hard finding couple friends! We have had the most difficult time, especially since my husband is in the military. Two years ago, one of my husband's friends introduced us to his girlfriend, who I surprisingly clicked with. She got pregnant a few months before me, and we bonded over having babies 5 weeks apart. When they moved, I was pretty upset.. How was I supposed to find new couple friends as perfect as them? lol. I really enjoyed reading this btw!

  7. This type of post floating around in blogsphere was my main goal and desire when creating the link-up for the other Brides out there! I hope other women feel just as inspired by marriage as I did when reading your post!


  8. You do bring up some good points. It is very hard to find couple friends.

  9. So fun meeting you tonight! Thanks for planning everything :) This post series is AWESOME! Keep passing along the advice and prepare us girls in the dating world :)


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